Art I did of my Rainbow Bridge Friend - 2022
There are times when I feel like I have nothing left to give. Times when my soul is so exhausted and depleted of life energy that I sense the ancient doors of forever.
When I have lost absolute control of my life – when things are spinning wildly out of control, and I am at the brink of no return… I ride rollercoasters.
I ride them hard, I ride them fast, and I ride them back-to-back.
I do not scream. I do not smile. I do not make a sound. I do not raise my arms. I do not open my eyes. Instead… I fall into the entire experience as if I am fast asleep in its storm.
Peacefully. Relaxed. Accepting.
During the ascent, I ask myself all the questions I would not ask myself on the ground. I bring to form every pain, every hurt, every truth, every lie. I make myself look right at it. The rush of a roller-coaster ventilates my tendency to be completely engrossed in thought. It’s in these moments of rapid free-fall, I touch the breath as it goes out. It’s in this out breath I fully let go and free myself.
Life has been a rollercoaster. A rollercoaster of broken hallelujahs.
This time last year, I had the honor of speaking at a Solstice Ecstatic Dance. I spoke on the inflection point (which you can find in previous blogs). I had no idea then the potency.
And even once I had realized, I still was not aware of its gravity.
I want to come forward to you with something just as real. Something hardy that will rest in your belly for weeks to come… something raw, honest and guttural.
My gift to you this month is the archetypal timbre of mortality.
No one can escape the spiritual fact that every form of life on Earth comes into being and in time will dissolve.
We are stewards of a portion of Universal Spirit. And we carry it within the container that is our life.
Are you familiar with the song, Hallelujah? I love it. I feel it points to something essential that is unnamable. Something which asks us to live life authentically, devoting ourselves to the full spectrum of the human journey, from tragedy to wonder and back.
Leonard Cohen was vigilant in showing us the places we can’t understand that will not break; though if we fight them, they will break us. Carrying a soul in human form is like being a lamp left out in a storm. Our humanness is the shade that is torn over time and it’s only through the rips and breaks in our humanness that the light of soul shows itself directly.
To be honest and tender in how we face life is to allow suffering and beauty to mix within our hearts so that our totality of being can soften the harshness of living. We all want to live a full life, so that when we meet death, we are ready and tranquil with its arrival.
To stay faithful in both directions, inwardly and outwardly, is our broken hallelujah.
All of nature is an ongoing process of birth, growth, death and rebirth. Endings make beginnings possible. When we align with this deep pattern in the energetic structure of the dying process, we experience more equanimity and grace, and less fear, confusion and suffering. As we learn to make death sacred, we learn to make life sacred as well.
What is there to do, but to live wholeheartedly under both the cloud and the sun, holding nothing back, and loving life and each other anyway? This, my friends, is how we sing our broken hallelujah, how we live between the pain and the song of life, how we vow not to die before we die. So that when death finds us, it will pause; the way the creep of night bows its head in wait for the sun to set in its magnificence, day after day. Until we do it all again.
Until we can do it no more.
*deep sigh*
As a servant of the realms, I must provide the knowledge and wisdom that comes to me. My purpose in life is to be effective mouthpiece of creation and orator of Spirit. It is my duty to give you Truth.
My friends… I write of roller coasters and life because in the still silence where all the angels can be heard… they speak of something coming. Something is about to happen. Something unmistakable, unshakable threatens the air. It comes silently, unimpressed by your good deeds or faith believing principles.
This Spirit of disorder and its horsemen, for lite phrasing, has been set loose upon our nations. Disease is going to come like a thief in the night. Depression is going to sit on your chest and fear will terrorize your dreams. Nowhere will feel safe. Completed suicide will compel a great many. Friends will turn and family will fade. Confusion will confound your tongue. Needs will be deprived of acknowledgement. And hunger will be the driving motivation.
What is about to happen is not personal, it's galactical and completely out of our control. Just lift your finger to the sky and you will sense it yourself.
Please know, it is not my intention to incite fear. My wish is to provide for you enough awareness so that you can take advantage of the time left.
Align yourself to your desires. Equip your Spirit with discernment. Walk with integrity. Honor yourself. Operate with dignity. Share kindness. Have compassion. Offer grace. Stock your shelves. Gather your resources. Make sure you say everything you need to say. Forgive the unforgiveable. Prepare for the unthinkable. Express love. Hold one another. Appreciate all that is.
(and let us all pray that I am completely and totally wrong.)
So when the time comes, and the rollercoaster of life drops you into the chaos… Peace becomes you.
*SOUL MUCH LOVE* *SOUL MANY BLESSINGS*
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